Hinckley Info : News and Information

A celebration of the riches of the web.

Today in Web Monitor: confessions of a recluse's gatekeeper, why we love a good fight and the economics of reading.

• Every good celebrity recluse, it appears as staff to help them, well, reclude. One such gatekeeper, Joanna Smith Rakoff maps out the job in Slate. She remembers her reluctant role replying to JD Salinger's fan mail with polite rejections:

"We were Salinger's gatekeepers - charged with protecting his life and work - but in order to do so, we had to buy into the mythology that had sprung up around the man, too. We had to believe that Salinger's privacy was the most important thing in the world, to be protected at all costs. And in order to make this leap of faith, we needed to believe that Salinger, as his fans insisted in the letters I fielded daily, was the greatest writer of the 20th century. It was an honor I wasn't willing to bestow."

• Having written a protester's handbook, Bibi van der Zee says she gets accused of only being interested in protests when a fight breaks out. In the New Statesman she looks at why violence is so interesting:

"Anyone who has ever seen a fight break out and has an honest streak in their body will admit that, at some level, they just wanted to stand and gawp. There is a moment in a bar, or at a gig, or at a protest, when anything could happen. When violence begins to break its way up through the concrete, suddenly everything you know about people is useless and that isfascinating. Frightening, upsetting and terrifying in the way it can spiral out of control, in the way that violence breeds more violence, more anger and pain. But fascinating, too."

• A debate has been started on the web after Martin Amis revealed in an interview with Prospect magazine, mentioned in Web Monitor, that he doesn't read younger authors' work. His theory goes that time is yet to tell if their work is any good and he isn't prepared to risk wasting his time on a bad book.
Norm Geras in his blog Normblog disagrees with this method of selecting your reading:

"It's possible to enjoy a book, come to think of it, that may not stand the test of the ages. So what if it doesn't? You can read those that do as well."

"So what you need is a way of reliably predicting which books you'll enjoy most (or at least minimising the inevitable unreliability of any strategy). The test of time - of previous readers - is the best predictive test available to us (and no, I don't feel bad about free-riding off other people's 'work' in this instance)."

Links in full

Joanna Smith Rakoff |Slate | My adventures answering J.D. Salinger's mail
Bibi van der Zee | New Statesman | Why we all love a fight
Norman Geras | Normblog | Rules for reading

What make a great TV theme tune? Anything as long as its not sung by Dennis Waterman.
Emma Morris @BBC News Magazine

Super. I am now guilty of inadvertently being "in" on a joke at Monitor Towers, and then making the mistake of trying to share it with the real world. On Saturday my husband and I went to look around a country club as we fancied being posh. "Hello," said the guide. "My name's John." "I'm John too," said my husband. "And I'm Spartacus," I said. I then had to suffer half an hour being addressed thus, feeling both very giggly and yet rather embarrassed. Thanks.
Rachel, Minnetonka
Monitor note: You're welcome.

When Mr Howells the tattooist in the story behind Monday's quote of the day says: "We do everything from scratch." Is that something to be pleased or worried about?
Harvey Mayne, Frankfurt, Germany

Re 10 things, number 8: I wish I'd known that when I was on holiday in Egypt. I was offered 100 camels in exchange for my girlfriend. Perhaps I should have done my research more thoroughly before turning the offer down.
Adam, London, UK

Bear Grylls once "gutted a dead camel and slept in the empty bloody carcass." So what? I've actually stayed in a Blackpool bed-and-breakfast.
Rob Falconer, Llandough, Wales

I used to be nostalgic, but it's all in the past now.
Dave Godfrey, Swindon, UK

In answer to PB (Friday's letters). No!
Jimlad, Paris, France

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Gonzo journalism is always appreciated by Paper Monitor, who never ceases to be impressed by the lengths some brave reporters will go to when it comes to delivering readers the story behind the headline.

Only the other week several intrepid hacks were dispatched to their nearest supermarket in their pyjamas, following Tesco banning a customer who wore her nightwear to do a shop. It was Pulitzer Prize winning stuff.

Today The Times goes all investigative on us. Journalist Lucy Bannerman immerses herself in the murky world of plant fertilisers to get hold of the new "legal high" of choice, mephedrone - or "meow meow" as it is known on the streets.

But somehow Ms Bannerman makes it sound like she's ordering her weekly organic vegetable box. She easily sourced the mephedrone online, it was delivered by courier and its provenance was clearly stated - Shanghai. Quite a few air miles there then.

It's a serious subject, the stuff is being linked to several sudden deaths. But the story falls rather short of being what it aspires to be - an alarming piece about how readily available mephedrone is.

With lame quips about herbaceous borders, it's reminiscent of a conversation with a stuffy, old aunt. But seeing as the half-page advertisment below the piece is about equity release and pictures two older people doing their gardening, it probably perfectly pitched. Know your audience, it's a journalism basic.

"It's things that are meaningful to her - she's got a portrait of Michael Jackson and a pair of fluffy handcuffs on there" - Tattooist on Jodie Marsh's grand design.

The newly-opened Viper Studio in South Woodford, London, already has its first celebrity customer and, luckily for them, she has an artistic vision.
More details (East London and West Essex Guardian Series)

Snippets from the week's news, sliced, diced and processed for your convenience.

1. When the term "nostalgia" was coined in the 17th Century, some thought it was a uniquely Swiss phenomenon.
More details

2. The removal of bales of straw can legally constitute building work for planning law purposes.
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3. Half of the world's 7,000 languages are in danger of disappearing.
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4. Some bugs do not get tackled for years.
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5. Glass attacks in bars and pubs cause 87,000 injuries a year in England and Wales.
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6. You can pay for university courses with Tesco Clubcard points.
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7. Italy has 180 products with protected origin status, the most in the EU.More details

8. Racing camels can be worth millions.
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9. Lego fanatics use computer modelling to design their creations.
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10. "Baby brain" is is just a myth.
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Seen 10 things? Send us a picture to use next week. Thanks to Tim Hinds, Southport, for this picture of 10 shoes in a temple in Kyoto, Japan.

When I was a little lad, my imaginary friend Winston and I had our own language. To preserve this I have decided to send this missive so that it may be stored on the Great Magazine Monitor Database and live on should I meet an untimely end. It is a simple language, consisting of only three words:
Perkyflump, noun - grown-up who doesn't understand that some children do not like sprouts and will not eat them no matter how many times they insist they are "good for you".
Miyagithon, noun - pencil-based game for poor children in which several pencils (and the occasional pen) battle using derivative forms of various martial arts. The winner is known as The Miyagitor.
Brattlement, noun - feeling of impotent rage felt by older brothers towards younger sisters when they insist on being irritating because they know the big brother will get in lots of trouble if he hits them with his Millennium Falcon.
Dylan, Reading, UK

Nostalgia. What is it good for? (@BBC News Magazine)
Absolutely nothing.
Daniel Younghusband

Say it again.
Jude Brindley

Huh.
Damon Scott

War, huh, yeah...
Anita Thomson

What is it good for?
Sharon Barrett

Absolutely nothing!
Lindsey Martin

Seeing Why do shops leave the lights on at night reminded me of the French group Clan du Neon, who save the shops the trouble of switching them off and go around at night doing it for them.
Steven, Stretford

Re artificial limb envy - as yet, I don't know of anyone who has purposefully cut off a limb in order to perform better in athletics.
Katherine, Canberra, Australia

Doesn't this explain how this happens?
Ashley Brown, Croydon, UK

Does anybody else get annoyed when the BBC use the new (version 7 or 8) internet explorer logo for a story relating to ie 6?
PB, London

Sarah (Wednesday letters), the picture in question was not actually of the wronged woman given the pseudonym "Shaheeda Khan". It was of the family lawyer, Aina Khan. But unless you hovered your cursor over the picture, you weren't to know that.
James, Stockport, UK

Re Bear Grylls' claim about the camel (Quote of the Day): he's getting mixed up with The Empire Strikes Back. Remember your light sabre next time, mate.
Alastair, Uddingston, UK

Re double-yolkers, my dad used to get trays of 24 eggs from the farmer close to where he worked. They were almost all double yolkers - apparently a law states he cannot sell them so we got them free. They were fab.
Emma, Blackpool

So, did Rebecca eat *all* of those scrummy eggs? Herself? Can't help wondering what her cholesterol level is...
Oh, all right then, I'm starving. And envious.
Susan Thomas, Brisbane, Australia

Jacob (Thursday letters) - yes, you must keep going with Mad Men. I love it so much that I now pretty much always order an Old Fashioned whenever I'm in a swanky bar, just because that's what they drink on Mad Men. (It turns out, by the way, bartenders everywhere hate making Old Fashioneds.)
Nicky Stu, Highbury, London

Winning entries in the Caption Competition.

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

This week, Lawrence Dallaglio lines up for a pint. But what's going on?

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. Sammy the Saint
England's new 15 looked good on paper but can they deliver on the field?

5. MightyGiddyUpGal
When Vanessa Perroncel dreams.

4. Candace9839
When you've really got your beer goggles on...

3. ImmortalHulkHogan
"You and who's army?.....oh"

2. Rob
Agent Smith winds down on the weekend.

1. Raven
George began to suspect somebody was conning him after he'd announced drinks on the house.

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

There is an old routine that starts: "The Times is read by the people who run the country. The Financial Times is read by the people who own the country. The Guardian is read by the people who think they should run the country. The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country..."

The Daily Star isn't always mentioned, but if it was inserted into the routine today it could be: "The Daily Star is read by the people who, if they ran the country, would make textspeak into the national language."

The paper's Text Maniacs section is a fascinating insight. The plurality of entries today are about the noted polymath Katie Price and her marriage to the cage fighter.

But trawl through these and there are glorious insights.

Coloredrainbow texts: "wen ur asleep ur spirit leaves ur body and can walk and do anything, wen u do go to spirit u are in perfect health again."

Right, thanks for that.

Another texter, Mad Max, seems to be inviting other regular contributors to join him in staging a coup. He writes: "Mad Painta, Mad Frank, Mad Mo, Mad Brad, Mad Mc Rainhill. We should meet up & sort this country out."

And perhaps most poignantly, the paper has lost, through a technical error it says, all of the pictures sent in by ordinary punters of them with famous people.

They are reduced to using a picture of an ordinary bloke with Olly Murs at Chicago Rock Cafe in Stevenage.

The glamour.

Welcome to the Weekly Bonus Question.

Each week the news quiz 7 days 7 questions will offer an answer. You are invited to suggest what the question might have been.

Suggestions should be sent using the COMMENTS BOX IN THIS ENTRY (and not in the form on the right). And since nobody likes a smart alec, kudos will be deducted for predictability in your suggestions.

This week's answer is AMBIENT SAUSAGE ROLLS.

"Once in the Sahara I gutted a dead camel and slept in the empty bloody carcass, with the skin pulled over the opening to protect me" - 'Survivalist' Bear Grylls

You've got to love him, good old Bear. He's not a man to let newspaper allegations [in the Sunday Times in 2007, of staying in motels in Hawaii when he was supposed to be stranded in the wild] get to him. Camel-skin hats off to him. A survival tip picked up from a Ye Olde Star Wars movie?
More details (Daily Mail)

My frying pan with four double-yolked eggs from the same box - all I could fit in the pan, but all six in the carton had two yolks each. They were Colombian Blacktail eggs (not sure if this makes a difference). They tasted lovely.
Rebecca Bullock, Sittingbourne

This has to be the understatement of the year thus far - "delay"!
Lucy P, Ashford, Kent

I was interested to read about the PEBKAC (problem exists between keyboard and chair) (Wednesday's letters), we've always called it PICNIC (Problem In Chair Not In Computer)!
Gail, Reigate

Regarding today's quote. Questions arise: a) Were his feet bare or was he wearing socks? b) If bare feet, how would Tesco react to socks? c) Has his limp gone now, after 8 years? Either yes or no, he might now reasonably consider wearing shoes again.
Dagwen

I may possibly be the millionth to point it out, but the old adage is that horses sweat, men perspire and women glow. Our "humble correspondent" may well have just answered a question bugging monitorites for years now!
Richard Place, Barnstaple

I thought the old adage was that horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies merely glow, but then that doesn't leave any room for Paper Monitor. Perhaps "glint" would be an appropriate alternative, or maybe someone can come up with something better?
Jake, Hungerford, Berkshire, UK

Dear Paper Monitor, following our discussion about what programmes I might enjoy after a shared love of all things Bartlet and Sequinned (albeit not at the same time), I have an update. I have caught up with "Being Human" and am enjoying it very much. I haven't yet found an opportunity to watch the Swedish Wallander, but it remains on my to do list. Have made a start on Mad Men - still undecided, perhaps Monitorites could offer advice to whether I continue or not?
Jacob, London

A celebration of the riches of the web.

Today in Web Monitor: artificial-limb envy, chicken feed and testing whether bonuses work.

• Could we enter an age of artificial limb envy? That is what Paul Hochman in Fast Company is trying to convince us. He puts across an argument that the prosthetic limb industry is about to enter an age of high profit due a future increase in amputees from diabetes related diseases and better engineering. He talks to Hugh Herr, double amputee director of the Biomechatronics Group at the MIT Media Lab:

"It's actually unfair. As tech advancements in prosthetics come along, amputees can exploit those improvements. They can get upgrades. A person with a natural body can't."

• What can managers learn from chickens? Peter Lennox in the Times Higher Education Supplement conducts a self-confessedly unscientific study into chicken transferable poultry skills. He promises they can teach us lots about behaviour, ethics, evolution and the "psychopathic nature of modern efficiency". His ideas about chickens' inner-thoughts and existential angst are, by necessity, based on guesswork - but he supplements this supposition with some observations of human behaviour:

"Watching chickens helps us understand human motivations and interactions, which is doubtless why so many words and phrases in common parlance are redolent of the hen yard: 'pecking order', 'cockiness', 'ruffling somebody's feathers', 'taking somebody under your wing', 'fussing like a mother hen', 'strutting', a 'bantamweight fighter', 'clipping someone's wings', 'beady eyes', 'chicks', 'to crow', 'to flock', 'get in a flap', 'coming home to roost', 'don't count your chickens before they're hatched', 'nest eggs' and 'preening'."

• Never mind the ethics of bankers' bonuses, behavioural economics professor Dan Ariely says in Wired that his research shows bonuses don't even work. They could in fact make things worse. Prof Ariely describes the effect of carrot-dangling in his experiments:

"We asked them, for example, to assemble puzzles and to play memory games while throwing tennis balls at a target. We promised about a third of them one day's pay if they performed well. Another third were promised two weeks' pay. The last third could earn a full five months' pay. (Before you ask where you can participate in our experiments, I should tell you that we ran this study in India, where the cost of living is relatively low.)

 

"What happened? The low-and medium-bonus groups performed the same. The big-bonus group performed worst of all."

"The financial crisis, perhaps, didn't happen in spite of the bonuses, but because of them."

Links in full

Paul Hochman | Fast Company | Prostheses You'll Envy
Peter Lennox | Times Higher Education | Pecking order
Dan Ariely | Wired | Bonuses boost activity not quality

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

The problem may be with the accelerator pedal, but the Times for one is not shy of stepping on the gas on the Toyota story.

Its coverage is infographics-a-go-go (links to PDF), with a detailed technical illustration of the accelerator pedal and, in, particular the rogue friction pad.

So excited is it by the story that it dispatches a reporter to one of Toyota's suppliers in Scotland, a tale told in a blue "Behind the story" box as part of its double-page spread.

"The Scottish factory has had contracts to supply 'throttle position sensors' to Toyota's plant in Burnaston, near Derby, which has made nearly 350,000 Auris and Avensis models over the past two years."

OK, so that's established that, then. But wait, there's more.

"A request to speak with Kenny Hall, the company's finance director, was granted, but Mr Hall declined to comment on the relationship with Toyota.... Outside, an employee having a break was equally reticent. Could he confirm that the company supplies Toyota with parts? 'No, I couldn't possibly confirm that,' he said, before smiling awkwardly and stubbing out his cigarette."

Well, that was well worth the trip then.

More revealing is its article on why mosquitoes pick and choose between humans. As one largely left unmolested by mozzy bites - unless no-one else is around on which to feast - Paper Monitor notes that researchers say they tend to target those who sweat more.

As the old adage goes, men sweat, women perspire and your humble correspondent merely glows.

And finally, a wonderfully evocative headline from the Daily Mail: "Village in fear of the unpleasant pheasant".

The sub-editor who came up with this beauty deserves an extra dollop of custard on his/her Spotted Dick at the canteen this evening. For the bird does indeed sound unpleasant:

"Men, women, children, prams, bikes, dogs and even cars have all fallen victim to the psychopathic fowl, which some believe is out to avenge its dead relatives."

Kudos, then, to the photographer who risked life and limb to get an up close and personal snap of the bad-tempered bird. How he or she escaped unscathed is not explained in the article.

"I suspect it's the perception that my feet might smell, but they don't" - Man told to leave a Tesco store for not wearing shoes.

After making it to the frozen meat section, Dave Richards, 47, was spotted by staff and told he could not carry on shopping in the store in Long Eaton, Derbyshire, unless he put shoes on. Mr Richards gave up footwear eight years ago after his physiotherapist said it would cure his limp. A spokesman for Tesco said: "We don't think that's an unreasonable request."

I fail to see the point of changing a woman's name to protect her identity, but then posting a picture of her face.
Sarah, London

Well done for publishing the Mastermind quiz - I laughed scornfully at the man in question until I did the quiz and got 3. I am now feeling rather sheepish.
Sue, London

It's fairly obvious how the ID for quiche problem happened. There are two flavours of barcode used in stores, EAN-8 (7 digits+1 checksum digit) and EAN-13 (12 digits + 1 checksum). Tesco (and most of the others) use EAN-8 numbers for their own brand products so that's 10 possible combinations. Someone somewhere has to keep their databases up to date with the details of what product has which barcode and price. So we have an opportunity for data input error. For stuff like beers, wines and spirits, the barcode triggers a "check ID" notice on the till. Adult market magazines also have an ID check. The error is clearly due to one digit out of place, so the quiche got the ID check.
As with all things computerised it's garbage in, garbage out. Combine that with a PEBKAC (problem exists between keyboard and chair) from the till operator, and you get a silly news story.
Dougie Lawson, Basingstoke, UK

Re proof of age for quiche buying, I especially liked the one about the 40+ woman who was denied permission to purchase a bottle of wine because she could not produce proof of age, and then when her 22-year-old daughter showed her ID and tried to buy it, was denied, for fear she would give the wine to her mother.
Paula Newman @BBC News Magazine

Alan (Tuesday letters), what they serve you may be *called* haggis but it isn't. Haggis is offal and offal is not permitted for human consumption by American law. Therefore "haggis" made in the US isn't actually haggis. Sorry!
Kimberley, Nottingham

Whilst Steve Harris is right in saying that "very" adds nothing to "unique" (Tuesday letters), I think that "almost exactly" is a perfectly reasonable thing to say. Has he never claimed to have "almost finished" anything?
Michael, Edinburgh, UK

With reference to your untimely fire drill (Paper Monitor), might I suggest it would make things a lot easier if WBQ were in every day (under its maiden name of LBQ), and Caption Competition made more frequent visits? It looks as if it's all too late for Punarama, who must have been burnt to death in a previous fire drill.
Rob Falconer, Llandough, Wales

Oh dear. We better all stop reading the Monitor...) Then NOBODY would be the Monitor (Friday letters), and everyone would be friends again. :)
P.S PLEASE? turn it in to a lil yellow person? I did my html stuff myself... Pwetty please?
Jaz, Bath
Monitor note: No.

What an appropriate name for someone trying to use a legal loophole.
Iani, Aberystwyth